Thomas’ experience: Vasectomy story – nervous and funny

I remember driving to the hospital with a friend of mine, on the way to my surgery. He had the procedure done, and he did provide some good info that eased my nervousness. It helped, but not much.

So I arrived at the clinic and was had my BP taken, it was a little high, “I wonder why?” LOL. I was escorted into the room where it would be done and was asked to put on the gown with no back and lie on the table. There I lie, while the male nurse put this ice-cold pad on my right thigh. “This is to ground you,” he said. So in my head I’m like “Ground me, WTF are we going to jump-start a car” It was for when I would be cauterized. Then he had to clean the shaven area, which I had done the morning of, I figure better me than someone else. I mean who more concerned about a nip. He sprayed the iodine solution on my whole area and forgot to mention how damn cold it was. So there I lay while 2 male nurses are getting all the equipment together, which I really did want to see what they would use. I was told the doctor would be right in, so I put my iPod on and tried to listen to the MISFITS, and just relax.

Well about 1 hour later I was still lying there and no doctor. So from a combination of the cold iodine and the AC in the room, and me being nervous I had to pee. Here starts the dilemma. What the hell do I do, I was all prepped up and waiting for the doctor. “Can I hold it?” “Can I hold it?” As I ran scenarios through my head (basically me peeing during the surgery), I figured that might not be a good thing. I told the nurse I had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t hold it, I was lying there for an hour, as I sit up the doctor walks in. “God I hope he’s not pissed right now” LOL. I do my business and have to start the hold process over again. I was grounded and frozen I mean cleaned again. And the procedure started. I put my music back on and just try to relax. The doctor told me he was about to give me the anesthetic and that it would hurt then burn. OK, here we go, left testicle first. OWW!

Okay not that bad, now I’m just waiting for the burning, but instead of burning I felt to more pricks, felt like the needle went 3 inches in. But it was over and done within a few seconds. I feel fine now, but now the pulling and probing just felt really weird. Here comes the first cauterizing, heard the noise, and smelt something like burnt ramen noodles.

On to the right side and basically, the same thing, even though it was quicker on the right side. I was all done I slowly got up and got dressed, thank god I wore Boxer briefs. I picked up my meds, (Vic den and Motrin) was told to take it easy and lay down as much as possible for the next 2 days, while icing the area. And it was a good idea to have scrotal support, it really helped. Now it’s 4 days later and I’m doing ok, a little pain every now and then, hurts to sit for a long time. I “tested the waters” and everything worked out great. I would do it again and I do recommend it. All in all, not a bad day.

Submitted by Thomas

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