Terry’s experience: Nightmares of chainsaws

Here it is! I scheduled my vasectomy about 3 weeks ago for 12-01-00, 0930 hrs. The night before, around midnight, I woke up out of a sound sleep and had visions of a chainsaw ripping out my balls! I laid in bed for another minute then ran downstairs and logged on to this website. I really needed assurance that chainsaws were no longer used!

I read about twenty personal experiences until I was reassured to the point that I felt I could deal with this thing. I am a real chicken when it comes to this kind of stuff. I went back to bed and told my girlfriend that I was scared. she tried to comfort me then I somehow fell to sleep. I woke up the next morning and felt pretty good about it all.

I got into the shower and began to shave my private area per the doctor’s order (this is a regular thing since g/f insists it be shaved. She thinks it’s sexy.) I arrived on time for my procedure and I was promptly greeted by this beautiful nurse! By this time my nuts were tucked up so tight, you would need a crowbar to get to them. I started to have visions of this nurse making fun of my small penis and her going to lunch telling all her friends how tiny it was. By now my penis had shrunk to an infantile size, this was really awful!

She escorted me to the operating room where I could see that someone had taken the time and effort to meticulously lay out all of the needed tools for this job, including this huge needle with a 16-gallon syringe attached to it (not really, it seemed that big though) she told me to take off all my clothes from the waist down and to have a seat on the table, then to place my heels into the “stirrups” as I did this, I could feel a cool breeze flow over my privates, thus making them shrink even smaller, sheesh!

So, then the doctor comes in and says, hi. He gives my balls an injection that stings for a millisecond then a minute later, I say” now what?” He says “right side is done, now the left” I could not believe it, it was halfway done. Then the right side was a different story. It felt like my balls were being pulled through my ass, but that only lasted about 20 seconds or so.

That was it, done.

The doctor told me to get dressed and I was on my way. I felt pretty good, so I stopped at the video store and rented 3 movies then drove Jack-in-the-box and ordered things which I usually do not eat, like a bonus jack and fries. This was my reward for being through this experience. I went home, popped open a hefeweizen, scarfed down the burger then sat down to watch the movies. Three hours later, I left to pick up my son from school then ran a few errands, came home, cleaned house, and here I am, writing this account of my day. The bottom line is, it was not so bad, but let’s see how tomorrow goes.

Good Luck.

Submitted by Terry