Melissa’s experience: Greenfeather’s wife’s side of the story

Three weeks ago, my husband gave me the best gift in the world. His side of the story is Greenfeather’s story on this site. He gave me the gift of freedom. Freedom from the daily hassle of birth control pills. Also freedom from the side effects of taking birth control pills for years. We had discussed all the different options that were available, side effects of them all, and he decided that this was the direction he wanted to go. I know how difficult a decision this is for most guys, and didn’t know for sure if he would go through with it. I had told him that if he were the least uncomfortable with it not to do it. I would get a tubal ligation instead. We are childfree and want to remain childfree, so sterilization was a good option. It just remained to be seen who would get sterilized.

My husband did tons of research into the procedure and spoke with many different people, both pro and con, before deciding to go with a no-scalpel, open-ended vasectomy. We’re talking WEEKS of research. Then came the amusing job of finding a urologist in our area that would perform the procedure. Easier said than done. The first urologist was a brutal man, who manhandled the”guys” unmercifully, and my husband was in pain for days following the initial exam. He made a tentative appointment for the procedure with this first doctor, but after some soul-searching, didn’t keep that appointment. He didn’t like the thought of such a ham-fisted doctor messing around down there. Then came to my job. I got to call around to several different urologists offices to find the right doctor. Finally, I found the one… performs open-ended, no-scalpel. YEAH!

The appointment was set and as the big day approached, my husband began to get a little jittery. No second thoughts, but some nerves. I had a few, too. It’s not every day that your best friend and life long partner will go through a life-changing surgery for you. Needless to say, the next couple of weeks were busy ones, indeed. I took off work for the big day and went to the doctor’s office with my husband for moral support. We met with the doctor, and he seemed very nice. He went over the procedure with both of us, as well as does and don’ts for the next few days 25 minutes later we walked out to the waiting room, seeming none the worse for wear, although I had a raging headache. He drove most of the way home, driving Mika Hakkinen at the US Grand Prix to try to beat the end of the lidocaine. He almost made it but 5 miles from home I had to take over – no Mika here I can tell you, it was more like Granny on the way home from bingo. Then into bed with him, ice packs and all, while I went to the pharmacy for pain pills. He was brave, only took 3 pain pills. The next couple of days he took it easy and I was his very willing and sympathetic nurse, and together we made it through the tough part.

Now it’s 3 weeks later, and he’s doing great. No pain, except when our Boxer dog tries to punt “the guys” around a little. We’re back to weight-lifting again, and all seems well. I’m relieved to be done with birth control pills finally, and very proud of my husband for doing this for us.

Submitted by Melissa

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