Andy’s experience: Pleasantly surprised by the procedure


I have been with my partner now for a year, and some time ago we discussed me having a vasectomy.
My partner has 2 children and I have 2, so we decided that although us having a child together would be fantastic, it probably wouldn’t be practical with 4 between us already. With the dangers associated with female contraception, and with neither of us particularly been fans of the condom a safer alternative was me to have a vasectomy. A visit to the doctors followed to discuss our discussion which was followed by a very quick appointment being made for the 12th December 2008.

I searched the internet in the few weeks before the procedure and time and time again came across stories that ranged from horror to complete scary tales of dread which seemed to condition me into believing I was in for a rough ride!

The day of the procedure

Woke up ready and prepared although a little withdrawn in myself considering the pending pain I was going to receive. Relaxed in my shower and savored every last drop of water as this was to be my last shower for 2-3 days, as the literature sent to me highlighting all the do’s and dont’s post-procedure advised a few days of keeping the bits and pieces dry.

My partner and I arrived for the procedure bang on time for my booking in, didn’t want to be hanging around the waiting room too long, and was taken more or less straight through for my pre-procedure consultation. The consultation was brilliant as not only did it ease my nerves but also got some pre and post-procedure tips which I found absolutely beneficial.

I was introduced to the surgeon and taken through to the treatment room. “Jeans and Trainers off and jump on the bed please”. OMG, here we go I thought and followed the instructions. “You can pull your underwear down now”. The tight boxers were pulled down and then to my horror! Where has my penis gone??? I think it must have been more scared than me, as it had totally disappeared, shrunk to such a size that if it wasn’t attached to me I would have disowned it!

The surgeon, with what looked like a smile on his face said “I’ll just give you a wipe with this cleaning solution and get started”. Was he smiling at my shrunken manhood, I thought. Next was (to me) the worst bit of the whole procedure. He had to feel the testicles for the tubes that he was about to cut. Not painful, but uncomfortable having the scrotum pulled, stretched, and squashed. I was thinking he will never find them in my shrunken state but he did, and then the dreaded words “I’m going to inject you now to numb the area”. This was the part of the procedure I was fearing the most. My arms shot back over my head and clung on to the back of the bed. “Relax you will be fine”, I was told. Then that was it, a scratch, sharp pain for less than a second and the area was beginning to numb. I wouldn’t believe it, all those stories I’d read of men almost going through the roof in pain when they were having the local anesthetic injected, and my experience was nothing more than a scratch!

The next 5 minutes were spent laying on the bed discussing Christmas with the accompanying nurse. The surgeon was busy at the business end doing his stuff, pulling and tugging at my scrotum, testicles, and tubes but I couldn’t feel any pain whatsoever. My only worries at this time were omg how small is my penis, and is the surgeon still smiling? I looked at him, but to be honest, it was clear to see that he was more interested in getting the job done than having a sly smile over my little dilemma. The next moment I was warned that I might feel a bit of pain now, and for a brief moment I did. Nothing unbearable, then a smell of burning followed when he cauterized the tubes. It couldn’t have been 2 than more minutes later and the surgeon was saying “That’s it – pull your pants up”. I duly obliged, tight boxers back up, jeans and trainers on, and off I went for a cup of tea in the recovery room. No limping, walking doubled over or bollocks around my knees – just normal walking, feeling unbelievable comfortable.

The next 15 minutes were spent in recovery. I was advised to go to the toilet and check that my dressing was in place. As there was no profound bleeding or anything untoward, I was told I could go. 45 minutes from going into coming out again, I couldn’t believe it, I’d had worse experiences going to the dentist. My partner drove home, and that is absolutely the right thing to do as the anesthetic is still working so even though you will feel fine, take the opportunity to be chauffeured.

The rest of the day was spent totally relaxing. I was advised to take Ibuprofen and ice my wound for 10 minutes every hour. The scrotum was swollen with one small cut to the left side. There was a pain in the area but nothing unbearable. It didn’t hurt just sat around, just some discomfort moving around but again nothing unbearable. I iced using a bag of peas which was great as there was a natural fold in the back that fitted nicely over my area.

The day of the procedure ended with me feeling quite comfortable with the experience, swollen but not anywhere near as much pain as what I thought I was in for. Even managed a few glasses of wine!

The day after

Woke after a good sleep and was amazed once more at the lack of pain. I really was expecting aching, throbbing pain but nothing, only painful to touch and a reminder now and again whenever I overstretched. Spent the day relaxing, no heavy lifting, no housework, no DIY jobs to do. Hey – I could get used to this lol! The day ended with a couple of glasses of wine and an early night.

2 days after the vasectomy

Drove for the first time. First the school run, then a 100 mile round trip to work and back which went without any problems. The area is still swollen and slightly bruised but totally bearable. Had a shower for the first time since Sat and it was like heaven – I’m not smelly anymore!

The moral of my story is to take it easy afterward, have a partner who will wait on you hand and foot, and follow the advice given by the experts. What a relief it is over and I’m on the way to recovery. The proof will be in the pudding when I have tested all my working parts and long term, well 12 weeks from now, when I have the all-clear, happy days lay ahead!

Submitted by Andy

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