Hey all: I had a vasectomy done a week and a half ago. Used lots of ice, rested a lot, and besides one of the incisions not quite healing as expected, all went well. I summed up the experience in a series of haikus. Here ya go:
At long last I meet
The Doc who tells me its time.
Why have I waited?He himself had it,
Welcomed me into the club.
Draws a detailed chartThe day comes too soon,
I stay quite busy until
Time to go has comeNever shaved these things
They see their first glimpse of steel
Cold, shining, hard, sharpFive milligram tab
Valium will surely help
I like this calm dreamGreet nurse and chit chat
Doc enters, wife leaves, I sigh
Shoes, pants off, robe onLie back relax now
Small talk, valium chit chat
snip snip poke tug tugAll done over with
Out to waiting room, smug smile
No regrets, dull acheFilms, television
La-Z-Boy and frozen peas
A bizarre three daysSnapshot memories
“Snip poke tug suture suture”
Veil of valiumOld Chinese Eunuchs
Carried their three jewels for life
To die as whole menTold this to the Doc
He offered me my jewel-snips
But I’m fine as isThose poor little guys;
“Dad! Help! Can’t find a way out!”
But it’s for the bestCarlos Alden
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