At 21, am I too young to get a vasectomy?
Jun 6th 2007adminGeneral questions
Hi, I have a question regarding the age requirements for having a vasectomy. I am relatively young to be considering this surgery, I will just be twenty-one in November, I have been in a great monogamous relationship for nearly three years with plans to marry the person I am with. We both feel that children are great, but there are a ton of kids who are up for adoption, to give someone basically a second chance at life by adopting them and giving them a great life is something that would be great. Neither of us wants her to be pregnant or to have children of our own. As a mature adult male I feel that I should have control over my body and should be able to make the choice of if I want this procedure done or not. I would really like to hear back what you think, besides just the usual “you are to young” type of thing. Thank you.
In general, there are no minimum age requirements for having a vasectomy in the United States. Some places where vasectomies are performed might have a “cooling off” period that requires the patient to wait a certain period of time after requesting a vasectomy and prior to having the actual procedure. It is always a difficult discussion that a physician must have with a patient who has never fathered any children, but desires a vasectomy. The personal choice not to father any children, but to help children waiting for adoption by providing them with a home, is very honorable. If the decision to have a vasectomy in this situation is truly a conscious choice, then there is no age restriction (over 18 years of age) that should prevent someone from having a vasectomy.
erica on 10 Aug 2008 at 3:28 am #
alright retard. U think you know everything at ur age and whatever, u dont!!! fucking pull out , use a condom, abortion anything but dont get a vasectomy till ur older. you really think u know what u want and u may but i also thought i knew what i wanted at 21 and so did my husband. we didnt ever want a kid and he got a vasectomy at the age of 21 .. well now we are 32 and want kids. we realized we have everything and in the end when its just you the dog and the same man for 15 years u want something more something u cant have. thats a child and we got a reversal and spent 8,000.00 for it not to work. reversals rarely work. at 21 we didnt care or ask. now we have to do ivf another 30,000.00 and we just could of pulled out or used birth control. whatever. just think about it and about the adoption thing.. we thought the same thing. reality check– that also cost 30,000.00 and if its free then the have a handi cap and u rarely get an infant and its invasive and not personal and it just flat out sucks. it would be different if they didnt make it so hard to do but they do. im warning u ,,, u will regret it. what ever u do this is fate and whats the chances of me just finding this web site with the same storey sorta that i had years ago……
erica on 10 Aug 2008 at 3:31 am #
well honestly i will most likely lose this site and never find it again so good luck and if u do reply my email is shortdogmamma321@live.com
and my INFERTILITY web site is dufranebabydreams.info you know cause its my body and we can do what we want with it cause we know all at age 18
Ashley on 18 Jan 2009 at 10:27 pm #
Wow. At 32 one would really think that you would have enough sense not to attack someone who is just asking a question because you had a bad experience. And to recommend abortion as opposed to getting a vasectomy? As a woman you really should know better. Abortion can be an extremely traumatizing experience that comes along with both physical and mental health risks. I am 23 and am in a stable relationship with a 21 year old man and we both want a vasectomy. We have absolutely no desire to have kids. We both have a history of depression and other emotional problems that have been passed down in both of our families and we have no desire to pass that on to anyone else. And as for adoption, OF COURSE it’s expensive and you have to be on a waiting list for a long time and you might not get an infant but those are all things that anyone with half a brain knows just because it’s EXTREMELY common knowledge. You can’t expect to walk into an adoption agency, pick out a baby and then walk out with it. These are children we’re talking about, it’s not like going to the fucking animal shelter. And if you’re biggest problem with all of this is money….then you really don’t need kids in the first place because guess what? They’re fucking expensive! This is also pretty common knowledge. I just had to reply to this comment because it was a completely ridiculous response to a very honest and simple question. And because the thought of this person raising a child is one of the scariest things I’ve ever heard….because the last thing the world needs is another person who was raised by someone who would teach them that abortion is just another form of birth control and couldn’t even teach them how to spell or form a sentence correctly. And that’s my $ .02.
Your Worst Invention on 31 Jan 2009 at 7:29 am #
I have to agree with ashley. I didn’t expect those words to be coming from someone in her thirties. I mean really, abortion as a form of birth control. Sure if you really can’t handle a kid or you’ve been raped – get an abortion, its your choice. Though you could give it up for adoption. There is NOTHING wrong with him getting a vasectomy. As long as he has really thought about it. Now I have to say, I think he should wait until he is actually married – just to be sure. Believe me, not saying the relationship won’t work out. Just caution. Again, nothing wrong with vasectomies. My husband wants to get one – actually we both want to get fixed just to be sure. I am already twenty, and he will be in May. Been dating since sophomores and have been married for over a year. But we don’t want kids. Lots of healthy problems: diabetes, arthritis, depression, alcholism, eating disorders, drug addictions, obesity, breast cancer, endometriosis. Now we don’t have all of those things, but they do run in the family. And then there is the fact that this world sucks. I mean you can’t blame someone for not wanting to raise a kid in a world that revolves around war and destroying the planet. And I agree, if it comes down to it that you decide you want kids – adopt! I mean, no one should grow up in the system. Messes people up.
Ryan on 31 Jan 2009 at 5:15 pm #
Dear 21 and confused,
As a fellow male who’s always been opposed to having kids, I can empathize. I recently turned 30, and have always known that I didn’t want kids. I’m planning to get a vasectomy as soon as my new insurance kicks in.
While I won’t call you names like some other individuals on here, I would say from my own experience that you may want to wait. Your early twenties are probably going to be the most unstable and transitional years of your life. If I were in your shoes, I would wait until atleast 25 at the earliest. But I think 30 is a good age. By 30, you’ll probably have a better sense of direction in your life, and you’ll have a better idea of what you want.
Good Luck
James on 04 Mar 2009 at 4:53 am #
Wow that erica was a straight up bitch.
dude, listen to Ryan he has the best insight here.
Derek on 25 Mar 2009 at 6:08 am #
I am 20 years of age and I would agree with the writer, I live in Utah, a very on the having kids side of things. I have been around kids all my life and been an Uncle half my life, I have never had a slight interest in kids, I think they are gross and extremely annoying. My fiance is the same way, we have decided to wait to get married or even have sex till I get a vasectomy to not even have the slightest chanch of kids. Back to Utah, living here it is extremely hard to find a doctor that will even talk to me about a vasectomy because I haven’t even had kids, we are most probably waiting till 25 anyway, but by 21 I may just make the desision to move to another state and get my vesectomy because I am so sure now I don’t want kids. Most of my family has tried to push kids on me my whole life, so it kind of scared me away from them. I don’t understand why people think that vasectomy is so bad, the earth is overpopulated as it is, there is no need to add to it. There is a lot of kids, not baby’s, but kids to adopt, and people say to wait and use condoms, well they break. Birth control, some people can’t use it, my fiance has illergic rections to all birth control, her period lasts for weeks on end with it. Some people should let us make our mistakes, if it ends up that way, well thats just another person in this screwed up world with one bad chapter to their life. Animals need homes too, thousands die every day, they have no voice. If you ever go to an animal shelter and see a kitten, it will die in two weeks without question, unless its very slow in the shelter, or it gets lucky. Take a minute to think of what you can have without kids, people think of what you miss out on, but think of all the people who is adding to the population right now, over 1,000,000 a day to the world, over 11,000 in the US. Do we need to add to the population, makeing the polution worse, and tearing the world up even more? This is all just in my opinion and a few other people I know, I am not trying to affend anyone, or attack anyone, but I just wanted to make a point. Thanks.
Nic84 on 30 Mar 2009 at 4:36 am #
Hi! I am a 25 yr old mother of 2. I have been with my husband 6 yrs and we are looking into him having a vasectomy.
I have no desire to have anymore children and I’d like to go back to fulltime work before I am 30! I am selfish in wanting to be at home until both my boys are in full time school! One is 5 and the other 2 and a half. In my heart I don’t feel I could willingly care for another child. I have only ever wanted 2 and so has my Husband. We wanted one of each, but we were blessed with 2 of the same! It doesn’t matter to us! 2 is still the limit!
My point here, is that I believe in the ‘each to thier own’ kinda outlook.
If 21 and Confused wants a vasectomy….good on him! Children aren’t for everyone and when you know…you just know! It’s called a gut feeling!
Mate, my two cents is that waiting another 2 – 5 years, would be a wise idea! You don’t ever know what the future holds! But….I do think it is incredibly unselfish of you, to want to care for and raise a child, whose parents didn’t give a shit about them or couldn’t afford them. Whatever the reason, every child deserves a home and every child deserves to be loved and treated well, and if you feel that you can offer that to them…..then bloody go for it! It just goes to show, regardless of your age, and that you don’t want biological children, that you are a man full of pride, love and common sense!
Best of Luck to You!
Nicole, from Australia.
Shauna on 25 Apr 2009 at 3:48 am #
I’m glad that idiot Erica and her presumably ignorant husband (he’d have to be in order to tolerate her nonsense) decided to get a vasectomy. We don’t need any of their idiot spawn running around.
J.R. on 01 May 2009 at 4:13 am #
The earliest I have heard of a guy ending his fertility career was 18, but that was after the birth of twins and a clinic that didn’t ask too many questions. Since your question was asked a long time ago, you may have gone ahead with the decision to forego fertility and biological fathering. If so, it may well be still a good choice for you. If not, consider “banking” sperm beforehand and keeping the option open for a period of time courtesy of frozen storage. Then, go visit your clinic for a fifteen minute milestone event. Whether that milestone is a millstone or a delight will unfold in the years ahead.
Ash H on 04 Jun 2009 at 1:50 am #
Shauna’s post sums up what I wanted to say when I read Erica’s posts. If only we could get all the ignorant people to get fixed… Does that make me a mini-Hitler? Meh, whatever.
Anyways, as long as you and your girlfriend have thought this out, and you’re prepared to never have your own children, I don’t see why you can’t have control over your own body. The only thing I’d worry about is the strong bond many fathers feel with their natural children, and if you guys can’t adopt because of a technicality or find that it isn’t the institution you guys were hoping for, this could have a serious impact on your life. I’ve heard of these operations being reversed, but it’s very rare.
On a completely personal note, I respect the hell out of you guys for being so mature and logical in your lifestyle. I’m 21 myself, and my boyfriend is 23, and we’re planning to adopt after we have one or two of our own, but taking out the option to ever have your own child seems a bit rash. If you’re going to do it, I’d really really recommend freezing some of your sperm just in case. Hardly takes up any space in the freezer!
Good luck on your decision, have a great day!
Tyrone on 07 Jun 2009 at 9:27 am #
Hello poster; I am a 25 year old male. I have a son, who will be 5 end of this month. His mother and I split up a little after he turned 3 years old. I myself am considering and looking into getting the vasectomy surgery done.
As far as your question; I do not think you are too young to be considering a vasectomy. I do think the fact that you dont have any children yet is a factor though. I do think you should not be too hasty and consider other things as well. There are a lot of “what ifs” when it comes to this decision because it will ultimately determine what happens in your life. Lets say you get married; “what if” things dont work out; then would you be able to deal with the fact that you wont be having kids with anyone else? Why hasn’t your partner decided to get her tubes tied? Remember, if things dont work out, she will be able to have kids……you wont. There’s a lot of thinking that should take place.
My decision for the surgery is because I do not want to be a statistic and father more kids with different women. My son is enough for me and I love him dearly. I thought I was still going to be with his mother and we did have marriage plans. Things just didn’t work out. What if I had the surgery done before my son came about? All I ask is that you sit down with your partner and discuss the “what ifs” because they can happen. Hope this helps; good luck.
Ralph on 14 Jun 2009 at 4:16 am #
I’am going to be 32 , and my wife will be 33 later this year. We have no kids. Personally I think we’re to old to start a family now anyway ,but my wife disagrees. I have always known I did not want children. My wife always wanted a couple children. She married me because I told here I will give the whole family unit thing a thought. Well i have thought about the subject ,and I’am still sure i dont want any kids. I feel bad because I’am stringing her along on a lie. Heck I’am even considering getting a vasectomy done in secret. Then I could just play it off as if I was always infertile. i should have done the procedure when I was 21. i could have told her right from the beginning before more feelings were felt.
rose on 30 Jun 2009 at 4:21 am #
Hi,im 19 ive been married for a year and with my husband for 2.5yrs.
he’ll be getting a vasectomy in a week and we’ve thought it through since early into our relationship,we not only chose to do this because we dont like children but because i have a serious heart problem that can be passed onto my kids if i were to have any and that was a risk that i am and never will be willing to take. Some of us have reasons to do the things we do and some of us do it for the hell of it, either way its our personal choice.
All the best to you.
Patrick on 03 Sep 2009 at 7:32 pm #
Wow,
This page has been helpful to hear all the different perspectives on getting a vasectomy before having kids. I am 27 years old, single, and am tired of not having a real 100% choice with birth control. I have had a couple pregnancy scares, but none have resulted in a child. What scares me the most is that I may get the “wrong girl” pregnet. During the pregnancy scares, I was resolved to staying with the person if the baby was born. I guess when it comes down to it, that is just the choice i know i would make.
I have been banking sperm for the past 4 weeks and plan to have a vasectomy soon. After speaking with the urologist at the sperm bank, he strongly advised getting one done unless there was a genetic defect. I still want the ability to have children through in-vitro fertilization or though adoption. I don’t believe that the doctor didn’t truly understand or at least couldn’t relate to my reasons for desiring to have a vasectomy. I have put quite a lot of thought into the decision and can’t come up to any serious deal breakers for me.
I plan to let future girlfriends know that i have “been fixed” but can still have kids via in-vitro fertilization or we can adopt. If they can’t deal with that, it probably isn’t the right match anyway.
carlos on 30 Mar 2010 at 6:14 pm #
IVE HAD A VASECTOMY FOR OVER 30 YEARS N IVE MET A YOUNGER WOMAN N PLAN TO GET MARRIED SOON .IM 55 YEARS OLD .WUT R MY CHANCES W IT BEING REVERSIBLE? MY FIANCE IS 40 YEARS OLD COULD SHE BECOME PREGNANT ?
Shane D on 15 Apr 2010 at 6:56 pm #
Erica is a dumb bitch! Your father should have had a vesectomy or you mother shoulda swallowed you.