Greetings jokesters. A friend of mine just had a vasectomy and is currently enjoying the subsequent pain. I'm sure a little humor would make him feel better. Does anyone know any good vasectomy jokes? If so, please post them.
Hmm. Not a joke per se, but there was a song done by the Limelighters about this topic. I thought it was cute, especially when I got old enough to understand what they were talking about. =) Enjoy:
*** VASECTOMY ***
Well, I went to see my
doctor
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills,
The rent's all spent, the truck's got a dent
And I think I'm gettin' the chills
From bein' forced to sleep alone...
You see, this house just ain't no home
I can't afford no kids, my life is on the skids
'Cause my woman says 'Leave me alone
Unless you get a va -
sectomy
You oughta get a va - sectomy
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation,
Get a - vasectomy
You oughta get a va -
sectomy
Oh what a Vas Deferens there could be'"
Well, the next thing I know, I'm
layin' on a table
With a light shinin' in my eyes.
They strapped my wrists, they strapped my ankles
And they DOUBLE-strapped my thighs!
The nurses were a-gigglin' and I was a-wigglin'
Most uncomfortably,
Then the doc walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me:
It only hurts....for a little
while....
That's what they tell me....that's what they say
*erk* *oof* *yike!* *rmmpt* *ahh*
Well, it's two weeks later and I
feel a little better
My mind is more at ease...
The rent's still spent, the truck's got a dent
But my woman's no longer a tease...
and even down at the office
There is a lot more interest in me...
The girls all grin when I walk in
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a va - sectomy
You oughta get a va - sectomy
Like a Funkist[sic] orange, I've been squeezed
'Cause it's all juice, and there's no seeds
With a - vasectomy
You oughta get a va - sectomy
Oh what a Vas Deferens, it's beginning to make a little
sense,
Oh what a Vas Deferens there could -
*spoken*-Here- is the part that
I like the most:
It takes the danger out of bein' close
*sung* Oh what a Vas Deferens,
there could -
*spoken*They snip those little
suckers right in two,
And they clamp 'em off with SUPER GLUE!
*sung* Oh what a Vas Deferens THERE COULD BEEEEEEeeeeeeee!